March 24, 2008

The 3 Princesses

Once upon a time, in a time far, far away, there were 3 princesses who worked together at a fast food establishment. The oldest and the youngest were related. The middle princess was the silly one who is over-protective. They worked for the grumpy, male-chauvinist, pedophile Prince Dirty who liked little girls. He was always mean to one of the girls and pretty neutral to another but he wouldn’t leave the tiniest princess alone. He was always trying to get her to go to his parent’s castle, tried to get her to go swimming and would call her and leave her dirty nasty messages that would make her ears bleed (never mind the fact she was barfing because he was 10 years older then her and that was old back then). He tried to lure her with alcohol, partying and promises of rocking her world (puke!). He sported a mullet of sorts. Similar to this.
He had ears that could get him home to his emergency keys if he was ever locked out of his car or to Florida for a vacation, which ever came first. He had a big nasty mole right on his cheek that the princesses stared at whenever he talked. He also supported a full lip Hitler moustache.

The princesses didn’t know they had rights at this time and decided to let it be because they were young and no one would probably listen to them or respect them enough to listen (Law and Order SVU wasn’t running then to give them any ideas). But it became too much to bear and they got together and plotted against the evil Prince Dirty.

One night, very late, the princesses decided they were fed up with the ass-grabbing and the phone calls and the floor scrubbin’ and they went to Prince Dirty’s parent’s castle (while he was out fighting dragons in the drive-thru). See Prince Dirty gave the tiniest princess the address during one of his late night drunk calls. The princesses ran around the yard and stuck sanitary napkins covered in ketchup all over the trees in his yard (it looked like someone went white dove hunting), ketchup packets, and trash and threw toilet paper everywhere. One princess decided she would also leave a stinky present on the driveway for Prince Dirty. All the while the princesses were giggling and laughing hysterically.

The princesses went home and collapsed into a fit of giggles at what he would find.

The next day mean Prince Dirty was ranting and raving about how someone pooped on his driveway. The princesses held it together when a co-worker asked him if it was his dog. He swore it wasn’t his dog because a) his dog wouldn’t do that and b) it was people poo! He couldn’t believe that someone shit on his driveway. And he showed everyone pictures of the poo.

I hope the caca on his daddy’s driveway disrupts him to this very day or his perverted ass is in jail.

Stupid evil prince…

1 comment:

tiniest princess said...

Couldn't stop laughing at this one!