Vote Now for the Complete Jackass for the Month of March

The Jackass Award for the Month of March

Now I know you are probably asking, “Why give the award now when we haven’t even cleared the Ides of March or St. Pat's?”

Well let me share my recent dilemma and I will let you decide who the real jackass is.

Let’s say I have furniture and odds and ends from my 1st pregnancy. Let’s say said furniture was borrowed by a few family members when they had a surprise pregnancy. The furniture and items borrowed are returned unwillingly. Upon inspection these items are ruined beyond any usable means.

Items up for ponder:

A dual swing/ high-chair that has the clips broken off upon return so it could only be used as a swing but when you push the swing forward the seat falls off the brackets because the seat is cracked on one side of the area that attaches to the bracket. As an added bonus, I got pen marked graffiti that was too intricate for a then 2 year-old to doodle freehanded.

Various clothing that has been stained beyond recognition.

Various baby toys that were meant to be keepsakes broken and ruined, or drawn on.

A 200 year-old cradle that is a family heirloom (my mother has a history with it and she had it refinished for her children), stored up-side down in the unfinished basement so the tops of the posts are scuffed and roughed up. And it had junk piled inside it when my mother went to get it ready to bring to me.

Now I know you want to give them the finger and the award but we have a few other contenders as well.



Let’s send The Idiot to pick-up the old baby bed that I recently did a once-over on, at a recent visit to the rents. After my once-over, the bed was in pieces but could easily be assembled. I felt kind of lucky to get something out of the wreckage they have created, unscathed. Of course the relatives did not recall where they put the bolts and nuts for the bed, let alone recall ever using it.

The Idiot brings said bed home in our recently acquired mini-van after various phone calls to me about how he can’t find parts and he can buy this part here or there. Due to the unpredictable weather we experience here in the Midwest, the bed sat in the van until this past weekend. I used my womanly charms to get him to get it out of the van to bring it in. No, it wasn’t charming at all. It was the guilt-trip of all guilt-trips. So it upset him immensely and created a big show of dragging it all in and lining it up against the living room furniture.

Now that I was in good light and could see the pieces of the bed in all of their glory. I noticed something that looked like urp, petrified to the spindles of the bed. The Idiot brought in another piece and the spindles were broken off. This created a whole different argument about bringing home something that was ruined and wasting time when he obviously saw it. But see, I told him to bring it home. I did the once over. He was only doing what I told him to do. And I was crazy for thinking anything my relatives touched would go unharmed. He failed to mention that the spindles were broken, the mattress was ripped, and the bed and mattress were colored on with a Sharpie. When asked what he was going to do with the broken spindles he replied that he would glue it back! UGH!! I can see poor Beebo getting tiny splinters in his tiny hands so that was not an excuse.

So please vote for the Jackass of March. I will have voting up until April 1st. This is the broken bedHere is the new one. This is brand new. We didn't duct tape the bedtogether. I promise.